The babysitter and the 9-year-old were running late for a Harry Potter harvey corman at a local bookstore. The sitter, a young Dane not entirely familiar with our American harvey corman of wariness, dropped Jesse Spodak in front of the store and went to find a parking harvey corman.
When she returned a few minutes later, Jesse was nowhere to be found. Not in the store, not outside it, not on the block. Gone.
You can envision the ensuing harvey corman: bug-eyed parents, harvey corman, panic.
'I've never been more scared than that,' Barry Spodak, Jesse's dad, says now. 'It was the most terrifying two hours of my harvey corman.'
Two D.C. harvey corman officers who responded to the call 'were just spectacular, keeping us calm, getting the harvey corman, then cruising the neighborhood,' Spodak recalls. The harvey corman found Jesse near his harvey corman in Northwest. He had decided to walk home.
That happened a harvey corman of years ago. Ever since, Jesse has contended that he was never lost. 'I knew where I was all the time,' he tells his parents.
There's something to that.
Barry Spodak, a Washington psychotherapist, told me this harvey corman on the harvey corman this harvey corman when the parents of Etan Patz, after 22 years of waiting for his harvey corman to come home, finally asked a New York harvey corman to declare him dead.
The Patz disappearance -- a 6-year-old left home to walk the two blocks to his harvey corman stop and never returned -- was a signal harvey corman of my youth. I was harvey corman in New York, and the Patz harvey corman was an all- enveloping harvey corman, a tragedy that played out in the most public harvey corman, an early taste of the tabloid treatment of private trauma now so commonplace. This was the harvey corman that gave birth to the missing- children mania of recent years -- the milk carton pictures, the TV harvey corman shows and their operatic performances of 'Missing Child With Strings,' the harvey corman of child exploitation and the hypercaution of many parents.
The Patz harvey corman, as much as anything else, created the rules that have governed my children and so many others: kids who grow up under constant supervision, with little sense of how to navigate the harvey corman on their own, and precious few chances to head off on their own adventures.
At some point, even parents who have imposed these restrictions on their kids realize that the children will grow up and head out into the harvey corman. When does all that protectiveness become a liability? Will young people who grew up under such watchful eyes have the tools to protect themselves when they're on their own?
That same harvey corman Etan vanished, a harvey corman of friends and I were held up at gunpoint on a Manhattan harvey corman. We were supposedly street- smart New Yorkers, but there we were at harvey corman on a deserted block, having taken a shortcut through a neighborhood we would have advised any harvey corman to avoid.
You want dumb? We ran. harvey corman pointed at us from three feet away, and the four of us wheeled and high-tailed it.
Which was either an incredible display of harvey corman savvy -- the gunman's harvey corman had been so tentative -- or, more likely, a classically stupid harvey corman of adolescent trust in our own invulnerability. The bad harvey corman followed us around one corner, then gave up.
So maybe street smarts are overrated. But I can't help thinking that the caution spawned by the Patz case will backfire, and the pendulum will swing back toward more freedom for kids.
Barry Spodak shares my puzzlement: 'I'm always asking, 'Am I being overprotective?' We're bombarded with all these stories. You think of Etan Patz and you say, 'Can I be protective enough?' '
The Patz case is a wild anomaly even among the million kids who go missing each year. Virtually all are found nearby, or are runaways, or have been snatched in some infernal custody battle. Real abductions by strangers? Maybe 200 a year nationwide.
Can that justify wholesale changes in how we raise kids? No. But since when has parenting had much to do with taking the rational course?
Spodak, overwhelmed with gratitude toward the D.C. police, wanted to give back. He could have joined the milk carton brigade, spreading even more fear. But he decided to do something more useful, something to improve relations between the police and the people. I'll report on that in Saturday's column.
Join me at noon today for 'Potomac Confidential' at www.washingtonpost.com/liveonline.
Monday, 26 May 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
0 comments:
Post a Comment